I’m ready – my body is not!

I’ve spent the last 15 weeks preying this baby doesn’t come any day now. I’m now doing a full 360.

Every day is getting increasingly harder, as a result I’m getting increasingly grumpier.

I was told on Monday to not be so concerned about contractions but instead to worry about cramps, changes in bowel movements, increase in pressure.

I woke up yesterday at dawn with all of these.  My mid-morning the pressure was increasing so I opted to call the doctor who sent me off the the specialist to check the length of my cervix.  I honestly thought this time was the real deal – labor could be delayed no longer.  I was expecting the cerclage to be removed and told to go home and wait for proper labor to start.

How wrong I was!  Despite the cramps and the contractions, the back ache etc there is still no change to my cervix. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable I am. To top it all it’s pushing 80 degrees outside, so about 75 degrees inside, my fingers are swollen, my feet are swollen, I have constant back ache, I can’t seem to lie on my left side anymore without getting sharp stabbing pains in my back, so my right side is taking all the weight is obviously less than happy about the whole thing.  I stand up and start to get light headed as I can feel, and see all the blood rush down to my feet – if I’m standing they are bright red from the mid-calf down.

The advice of the specialist – take more drugs. I’m now able to add Terbutaline to my daily drug regime – 2 pills every four hours.  This means that on a good day I’m taking upwards of 20 pills. Apparently all doing now harm to the baby but I can’t help but think he’ll come out addicted to something.

It’s unlikely they will remove the cerclage until 8/24 as scheduled, unless I get too uncomfortable.  Apparently, I’m not uncomfortable enough already!  So I have at least another 3 weeks of this and I’m beginning to think it will be just my luck that I’ll go all they way to my due date and beyond. 

I’m trying to just sleep and eat my way though it whilst maintaining a happy positive attitude but the sad reality is that I’m just grumpy- very grumpy and incredibly fed up!